Pretend To Be Someone Else: Using Halloween to Explore the Parts of You You’ve Been Suppressing
- Britt Ritchie
- 1 day ago
- 10 min read
Success looks seamless from the outside.
But beneath the polish, many high-achieving women I work with in Denver describe the same quiet ache: they feel disconnected from the parts of themselves that used to feel alive.
Halloween, interestingly, becomes a mirror.
When you choose a costume, you’re not just picking something fun—you’re gravitating toward an identity that reflects what your psyche has been craving.
The act of pretending to be someone else can feel liberating, because it gives you permission to explore who you might be without all the filters of everyday life.
That’s where the real insight lies—not in escape, but in the rediscovery of the self that’s been waiting underneath.
Key Points
“Pretend to be someone else” isn’t escapism—it’s information. When approached consciously, it’s a psychologically healthy way to access the parts of yourself that have been quieted by responsibility or perfectionism.
Costumes act as mirrors, not masks. What you choose to embody—powerful, playful, sensual, or serene—reveals unmet emotional needs that your daily life may suppress.
Halloween offers a safe, symbolic space for self-exploration. When social rules loosen, your subconscious steps forward, showing you the traits, desires, or energies you’re craving.
The goal isn’t to stay in character—it’s to integrate what you learn. When you consciously bring elements of your alter ego into everyday life, you turn fantasy into authenticity.
Pretending can become practice for presence. By noticing how your body, confidence, or energy shift when you embody another self, you gather data about what “authentic” actually feels like.
If pretending feels like the only time you come alive, it’s worth reflecting on what that reveals. Your alter ego might be pointing toward creativity, rest, sensuality, or freedom your real life has been too structured to allow.
Let’s explore why the urge to pretend to be someone else feels so compelling, how to use it purposefully, and what to do next if your alter ego is telling you something important.
Why do adults want to pretend to be someone else?
Because we already perform all year. We wear the competent professional mask at work, the steady partner/parent mask at home, and the “I’m fine” mask when we’re anything but. Psychologists have long described these public faces as the persona—useful, protective, and sometimes suffocating. Its counterpart, the shadow, holds the traits we suppress: assertiveness if we’re praised for being agreeable, play if we’re rewarded for being productive, sensuality if we’re trained to be “appropriate,” softness if we’re celebrated for being tough.
Halloween changes the rules. For one night, you choose the mask on purpose. That choice is revealing. And the act of dressing up isn’t neutral—research on “enclothed cognition” shows that what we wear can influence attention, confidence, and behavior. In other words, your pirate, villain, witch, or glam icon doesn’t just look different. You feel different.
What does my costume reveal about needs I’ve been suppressing?
Strip away trend and humor. What really pulled you toward that character?
For most women, costume choices are rarely random. They’re expressions of unmet needs—parts of the psyche that want airtime after being muted by responsibility, performance, or perfectionism.
Villain / Antihero
A hunger for unapologetic power, boundary-setting, and emotional honesty. Maybe you’re tired of being “nice” when what you actually need is to be direct. The villain archetype lets you claim intensity without shame. It’s the part of you that wants to stop saying yes when you mean no.
Superhero
Permission to be competent, admired, and strong without downplaying it. Many ambitious women in Denver tell me they love this archetype because it reflects their drive—and their exhaustion. Superhero costumes often mask a wish to be recognized for how much they carry without needing to prove it anymore.
Ethereal / Fairy / Mermaid
Craving freedom, creativity, and less rigidity. This costume whispers of a self who longs to float rather than force—an antidote to the grind. It’s the archetype of flow, reminding you that intuition and play are just as vital as discipline.
Classic Glam Icon
A longing to be seen, desired, or celebrated—not for productivity, but for presence. This costume often surfaces when someone has been in “caretaker” or “achiever” mode for too long. The glam archetype reawakens sensuality and self-admiration.
Sexy Vixen
This archetype is often misunderstood or dismissed as attention-seeking, but psychologically, it’s one of the most revealing. For many women, the appeal of the “sexy” costume isn’t about impressing others—it’s about reclaiming desire. It’s an instinctive way to reconnect with the body after months or years of living in the mind.
Choosing a sultry or provocative costume can reflect a deeper wish to feel desirable, alive, and at home in your own skin. For high-achieving women, especially those managing burnout, motherhood, or nonstop responsibility, sensuality often becomes compartmentalized or muted. This costume says, “I want to feel wanted again—not just for what I do, but for who I am.”
It’s not only about sexuality; it’s about aliveness. The vixen archetype embodies confidence, vitality, and unapologetic self-ownership. It reminds you that pleasure, sensuality, and self-expression aren’t frivolous—they’re forms of energy that fuel creativity, connection, and joy.
Comfy / Onesie / “Low-Effort”
A deep need for rest and permission to not perform. It’s the anti-mask costume—a subtle protest against constant striving. When this costume feels appealing, it’s your psyche saying, “Let me just be.”
Clever DIY / Pun
A yearning for levity, wit, and creativity. Many perfectionistic women choose clever costumes as a safe way to express playfulness without feeling “unserious.” It’s a reminder that intelligence and humor are not opposites—they coexist beautifully.
None of these are good or bad. They’re information. They point toward the nutrients your life might be missing—power, visibility, rest, creativity, sensuality, freedom, or joy.
What your costume reveals isn’t about fantasy—it’s about balance. The archetype you reach for shows you where your energy has been starving for expression. And that awareness can be the first step toward building a life where you no longer have to wait for Halloween to feel like yourself.
Ask yourself:
When was the last time I felt comfortable being seen?
When did I last feel radiant just for existing, not performing?
The answers can reveal what parts of you are ready to be reawakened.
Is it healthy to pretend to be someone else, or is it just escapism?
It depends on the why behind it.
There’s a difference between hiding from your life and experimenting with it. Role-play and costume-based self-expression can lower stress hormones, increase confidence, and activate parts of the brain associated with creativity and regulation.
When you pretend to be someone else with curiosity and intention, you’re not escaping your identity—you’re expanding it. You’re giving yourself permission to practice qualities your nervous system may have forgotten: boldness, softness, sensuality, humor, or rest.
Healthy exploration looks like this:
You choose with intention—“I want to feel free, powerful, soft, or unapologetically myself.”
You stay aware of the embodied shift—how your posture, voice, or energy changes when you inhabit that role.
You bring one small piece of that energy back into daily life, allowing the “pretend” to evolve into something real.
Unhealthy use looks different:
You only feel alive or confident while in costume.
You rely on fantasy to avoid the conversations, decisions, or healing you need in real life.
You feel emptier afterward, not clearer—like you stepped out of something that had more color than your actual world.
When pretending becomes a way to disconnect rather than integrate, it can reinforce the very emptiness you were trying to escape.
But when you engage it consciously—as play, ritual, or reflection—it can be incredibly healing. You’re not trying to become the character; you’re trying to remember the version of yourself who already holds those traits.
The goal isn’t to move in permanently—it’s to collect data about your inner world, and then use that awareness to design a life that feels more like the person you were pretending to be.
How can you use Halloween to Unlock Hidden Desires and Subconscious Needs?
Treat Halloween less like a costume party and more like a mirror.
When you pretend to be someone else intentionally, you’re stepping into an archetype—a symbolic role that gives form to your subconscious desires. Carl Jung believed that when we consciously play with identity, we access the parts of ourselves that have been buried under responsibility, fear, or expectation. In that way, Halloween becomes less about hiding and more about remembering.
This isn’t about faking it. It’s about listening to what the suppressed parts of you are trying to say.
Start here:
Name the feeling you want more of.
Powerful. Playful. Desired. Calm. Unbothered. Free.
These words are emotional breadcrumbs. They reveal what your conscious self may not yet have admitted you’re missing.
Ask yourself: What emotion or experience feels most out of reach in my daily life? That’s the signal your psyche is sending through costume.
Choose the persona that evokes it.
Pick the character that holds the energy you crave.
If you want to feel bold, choose someone who embodies unapologetic self-expression.
If you want to feel sensual, choose someone magnetic and embodied.
If you want to feel unburdened, choose someone playful or effortlessly confident.
When you step into that role, your brain doesn’t fully distinguish between imagination and reality. For a brief moment, it lets you feel what it would be like to be that version of yourself—and that glimpse can be transformative.
Observe your micro-behaviors.
Notice what changes when you stop performing as your usual self.
Do your shoulders relax? Do you take up more space? Make more eye contact? Laugh louder? Move slower?
These subtle shifts are clues from your nervous system, showing you what safety and authenticity feel like in your body.
Translate fantasy into practice.
Choose one tiny ritual to bring forward into your real life:
A boundary that protects your peace.
A spark of glam that helps you feel alive on an ordinary day.
Five minutes of unstructured movement, creativity, or pleasure that remind your body what freedom feels like.
This is how “pretending” becomes integration—when you consciously import the energy of your costume into your actual identity.
Protect the conditions that allowed it.
Confidence and clarity rarely emerge in chaos. Notice what else helped you access that state—sleep, a slower pace, music, light, laughter—and build more of it into your week. The environment that allows expression is just as important as the expression itself.
Repeat what feels real.
If you find yourself feeling more energized, grounded, or emotionally open afterward, it’s not an accident. Your psyche just showed you what it needs to thrive. Keep following that thread.
When you use Halloween as a portal into your subconscious, you don’t lose yourself—you recover the parts that have been locked away. Pretending, in this sense, isn’t make-believe. It’s practice for authenticity.
How do I integrate my alter ego after Halloween?
Integration isn’t about maintaining the costume—it’s about translating the feeling it gave you into your daily life.
The goal is to turn that one-night experiment into a lived experience of authenticity.
Start simple, and stay specific.
Name one trait you want to keep.
What did your alter ego embody that you’ve been missing? Boldness? Tenderness? Playfulness? Sensuality? Ease?
Naming it helps your brain recognize it as something real and worth protecting.
Anchor it to a small behavior.
Integration begins in micro-moments.
Say the honest thing in one meeting.
Take a tech-free walk after work.
Add a detail that makes you feel vivid—a ring, a scent, a lipstick shade that reminds you of her.
Speak with the tone of voice you used in costume—confident, unhurried, grounded.
These tiny behaviors create continuity between your alter ego and your daily self.
Reflect weekly.
Ask yourself, “Do I feel more like myself?”
Integration is iterative—it’s not a switch, it’s a rhythm. The more you revisit what felt freeing, the more naturally it becomes part of who you are.
Stay curious, not critical.
Some traits will stick; others will fade. That’s okay. You’re not chasing perfection—you’re expanding your range.
When pretending becomes practice, the mask fades and the essence remains.
You’re not becoming someone new; you’re reclaiming the parts you once hid.
When does pretending become a red flag rather than a resource?
Pretending should feel expansive, not addictive. It becomes concerning when fantasy replaces self-awareness rather than enriching it.
You might notice this shift if:
You rely on costumes, avatars, or personas to avoid choices you need to make.
You feel ashamed or “hungover” afterward—like you stepped out of something more real than your actual life.
The rest of your world feels flat, and pretending is your only access to color or joy.
People close to you are asking for your real presence, but you find safety only in playing a role.
These aren’t failures—they’re invitations. They signal that a part of you is ready to be acknowledged, not outsourced to fantasy.
Pretending, used consciously, can be healing. Used habitually, it can deepen disconnection. The difference lies in whether you return from the role with insight or emptiness.
If you find yourself craving that alternate self more than your real one, it’s time to explore what’s missing in your current identity. Often, that exploration leads to a more integrated and satisfying life than any costume ever could.
Where do Denver and Colorado fit into this story?
Denver’s culture runs on motion—achievement, ambition, altitude.
Here, success often looks like being everywhere at once: in the office, on the trail, at the gym, at your child’s game. The air is thin, and so are most people’s emotional reserves.
It’s easy to mistake constant activity for vitality. But for many high-performing women in Colorado, the relentless pace quietly erodes connection—to body, to rest, to sensuality, to joy.
That’s why Halloween feels like such a relief. It offers a sanctioned pause from perfection—a night to play, to exaggerate, to pretend without apology.
The trick is keeping the best parts afterward.
How I Can Help
When your costume highlights what you’ve been craving—power, play, visibility, sensuality, or rest—you don’t have to wait until next October to feel that way again. The traits you explored in costume aren’t make-believe; they’re messages from your subconscious, pointing toward what your mind and body need to feel whole.
At Mind Alchemy Mental Health in Denver, Colorado, I help ambitious women transform those moments of self-recognition into lasting change. My work blends holistic, integrative psychiatry with a deep understanding of identity, emotion, and energy—so you can align how you feel with how you live.
As a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner specializing in female psychiatry and holistic women’s wellness, I look beyond symptoms to uncover the root causes of imbalance. Together, we’ll explore how biology, psychology, and environment intersect to shape your mood, focus, and energy. Whether you’re struggling with fatigue, disconnection, or that quiet sense of “something’s off,” we’ll build a personalized plan to help you feel centered and alive again.
Explore more:
The story behind my holistic approach to mental health
My approach & services for holistic women’s wellness
Visit my media hub for podcasts, Youtube videos and more related to holistic mental health treatment
What did your alter ego crave most this year?
Power
Play
To be seen
To be desired
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